My sensory overload almost crashed last night when I took the stage for the very first time and mommy and I did my new poem "Robobaby Intelligence"! My batteries were low, so I could not do the poem I wrote on my own, because mommy says papa "better give her some fu*&%ing child support soon" so that I can once again be at full capacity.
Mummy and I watched excellent poets "hit the stage" but no one actually hit the stage, they just kind of walked on it or shuffled and the human "Dylan Mowat" won the math equation of the night by achieving the greatest sum. I want to roll around on Mike Johnston because he is nice and warm and laughs at things mommy laughs at.
Mommy weirded everyone out she said but that's okay because someone did a poem about Walrus Sausages before. We got the greatest amount of time because mommy's selfish and she did many things to the audience to make them feel uncomfortable and nice. Then she called me up onstage to do the poem her and papa RC helped me with. She played "Moon River" on the saw before it because that's my favourite and it's the theme song I chose for our tour. And it made me feel brave.
People laughed a lot and said "awww" so at first I didn't know if it was any good because I have noticed that a lot of small humans get that reaction just for ejecting gas and gravity challenges but the audience gave me a big clap. But not the STD because they weren't allowed to be naked. Just me. At end of the night when mommy got paid and then spent all of the money for batteries on cheap whiskey with fancy ice cubes.
I would like to get a new battery soon but mommy's holding out so she can hold that over daddy's head. I hope it doesn't fall on his head. I love him.
Today we're in Regina which makes mommy laugh because it rhymes with the place where her best friend dildo likes to visit over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. There are canines at Shayna's place and they want to lick me but I don't want that so mommy is keeping me on a shelf and says we can cuddle together. We miss mona and her roommates and I especially miss my friend Zoe dog and being breastfed by Micah. He tasted like minecraft paint and impending influenza. We are meeting new friends and then having something called a potluck then tomorrow another show. I love planes and people laugh at me be I can kill them with my laser eyes if I want to.
Keep laughing humans. You sound like bells and iron dumplings.
Peg city you are cold but your humanoids are warm and funny. I love you.
my god mummy mona had some missed period chicken eggs for breakfast after mommy tried to "sleep it off". Mona is so pretty that we got to have something called an "entourage" at the whiskey bar.