Chewbacne And Pop Can Sibbies

12/24/2015

We're back home now and mummy can't tell me why we had to leave Vancougar, she just gets kind of sad and says that we can't have everything we want sometimes. I think that's what people call 'hogwash'.

Vancougar was so much fun. When we landed PAPA WAS THERE! And he brought Lucia with him and they made us a beautiful banner to say hello with. I love him and I got to rest in his heavily muscled arms while mummy walked around like a pigeon and got our suitcase. We went back to papa's and then I watched them sleep and made jib jabs of us in my mind but it was so low on batteries I had to dump them and finally get some rest.

The next day papa cursed and got us peanut butter and pita bread even though he didn't believe in such things and then Emily and James came over and mummy wanted Emily to pretend she was having a baby robot too but Emily threatened her life and I couldn't get my laser eyes to work so we let them live. They will be having a robot baby soon too and I want a brother or sister or other so it was probably for the best. Mummy gave her a back rub to say sorry but I know she just really wanted to pop her back zits.

We had a nice day and I met my grandmummy but she was trapped in a decorative picture frame but I love her anyways and some day will avenge her imprisonment and then annihilate earth with the help of the Lamb offspring that chooses to stay as long as possible in that nice womb. Then we went to fake christmas but I already blogged about that.

The next day was our show at van slam! Papa RC tried to pretend he didn't know who we were but he did a thinly veiled poem about mummy. Mummy laughed a lot when he said "Chewbacca milked my back zits. Later we got up and "really gave it to him" during our set. At the end mummy read her national grievance letter about papa and he dropped 4 AA batteries on my head and the settlement was reached but still mummy went on about how he's holding out on his child and people looked a little confused and clapped a lot because they thought they probably should and then papa gave us a pop can and said I had a sibling now but the busser took it and murdered it in the dungeon called "recycling" and we got the hell out of there.

The next day we had to say goodbye to papa and I wrote him a note in my own excrement and we saw Wilhemina and mummy and her had matching boob coverings, then Jillian met us too and had to also get rid of her excrement but forgot to write a message to anyone with it so we left and took a plane away from the greatest place on earth.